Remember my new years resolutions and how I promised to be more honest with myself? Well, part of that honesty thing is learning to overcome my blogging insecurities and I hope as I share my own struggles and observations, that you too will be encouraged or at least not feel quite so alone.
I've had some discussions with a few blogging friends concerning what we like LEAST about blogging and the consensus seems to be that blogging can feel a hell of a lot like being in high school and I don't know about you, but I really disliked high school. I think a lot of the nostalgia about our pubescent struggles and the similarities we find in blogging stems from insecurity, plain and simple.
One would be hard pressed not to feel insecure in a highly competitive online environment where bloggers have no problem using words and phrases like "popular, popularity, blog stars, up and coming, top blogs, top 10, top 100" and the list goes on and on. In an environment where connections and relationships coincide with stats, rankings, link exchanges, number of comments, and advertising it can be difficult to discern the genuine from the disingenuous, friendships from connections, and success from popularity. In the midst of all this, that little negative nagging Nancy in all of us can pop in and say, "you'll never be good enough."
The point of this post is not to have a bitch fest friends, quite the contrary. None of what I've said above is any way shocking or new, it's simply the online atmosphere and it's not that different from other aspects of our lives (i.e. school, jobs, family, friendships) except that with blogging, there comes a certain vulnerability when we put our ideas out there creatively through our writing, curating, and editing. If you've been blogging for any time at all, I'm sure you've figured out that every niche has it's own cliques, it's own "blog stars", and it's own elite. The structure that exists within each niche is natural but it can make some people (myself included) feel like they're on the fringe, waiting to be acknowledged or included. We all want to be recognized for our hard work, our unique talents, and the thoughtful opinions we bring to the online conversation, but just like in high school, our grades don't always reflect our intelligence and our social connections certainly don't reflect our self worth.
I've asked myself some questions that have helped me come to a good place (my happy place if you will) whenever I'm feeling discouraged:
- Do you enjoy blogging?
- Are you happy with the content you put out on a daily basis?
- Are your online relationships genuine or are you just out to meet the "right people?"
- Have you grown as a blogger or are you feeling stagnant? What changes can you implement to feel satisfied with your growth as a blogger, but most importantly, as a person?
- Are you putting too much emphasis on numbers and do you, perhaps, need to redefine your definition of success?
- What are your actual goals with blogging? Do you need a magazine mention, a book deal, or a higher google page rank to be happy? Do you need a "top design blog" mention to be happy? Do you?
- Are you OK with quitting the blog? Does blogging on a daily basis bring you joy or does it feel like a chore?
- Why is your blog special? Does your blog have a voice or does it just try to blend in with the "popular crowd?"
There aren't any right answer to these question, but I find that when I go through my little list, I realize that my insecurities stem from how I view myself rather from how I think other people are viewing (or judging) me. I realize that I really enjoy blogging, that I value the friends I've made in the community and it's OK with me if my stats stagnate or decline because my self worth cannot be quantified. Ever. Not by my salary and certainly not by D&OC's page loads.
If you've made it this far, I applaud your perseverance and thank you for hanging in there with me. I'd like to pose a question and I'd love to hear your thoughts and I hope that this will be a positive forum that will encourage each of us. Keep in mind that everyone feels insecure at some point or another no matter what their "ranking"(or self perceived place) is in their niche or community.
How do you deal with blogging insecurities? If you aren't a blogger but have experienced insecurity in reading blogs where the facade of some people's lives seem to be picture perfect, how do you deal with it?
