Wednesday, April 28, 2010

On blogging...

{via}
I don't think I've ever written about the act of blogging because I realize many of you are not bloggers and could care less, but some of you are and a handful of you have asked me personally about my opinion on successful blogging, growing a blog, and simple "how to" questions concerning blogging.  I've written countless e-mails attempting to answer a variety of questions and with each e-mail I write, I realize that I know much less than I'd like to think I do and what does my opinion matter anyway?
Well, in my relatively short time blogging (1 year 3 mos) I have kept my eyes wide open, paying attention to certain blogging trends, certain blogging groups or "cliques", how people relate to one another in an online community, etc. I've payed special attention to "blogger rants", certain bloggers trying to correct a mindset of new bloggers, the "do's" and "don't" of giveaways and sponsorship, bloggers openly praising or berating themselves for growth, lack of growth, talking about numbers openly: stats, followers, comments, hits (it always goes back to the numbers, doesn't it?).  Frankly, it makes my head hurt.
If I could go back and re-write all of those e-mails I responded to, I would and I would say one thing, "Above all, be kind."  If you want to grow your blog, and I don't just mean numbers here, be kind, be genuine, simply be nice.  If someone takes their time to write you a personal e-mail, why not take the time to thank them?  If someone consistently comments on your blog, why not take the time to check out what they're talking about on their own space?  Being kind doesn't mean not be discerning and it certainly doesn't mean being a pushover or being fake.  I've met a lot of amazing, sweet, talented individuals in the blogging community.  I've also met some manipulative, self-serving individuals and I've encountered snobby, pretentious bloggers as well.  The online community is no different than the real world in that it takes all kinds and you don't have to be friends with everyone but you should be nice.
I've spent some time in the Etsy forums recently and I am astounded and shocked at some of the negative, cruel things people say to one another. Instead of supporting each other, there seems to be a preference to throw elbows in an effort to shove themselves to the top.  On the flip side, I'm encouraged when I see crafters and bloggers cheering each on, offering metaphorical high fives, and saying kind words to one another. There's plenty of that on the forums too, you just have to look a little harder (you better bet your behind that I choose what blogs I read and where I shop based on this too).
I've personally struggled lately with blogging because I've noticed a trend of negativity and elitism, but then I come back here and I get a kind comment from one of you and am reminded that D&OC is a place of positivity.  I'm reminded that I don't have to insult someone else to feel good about myself or this blog.  I'm reminded that success isn't a number, or a mention, or a link.  Thank you for your kindness, for your support, and for your positivity. 
*Hugs*
Christina

161 comments:

Rene @ cottage and vine said...

It is no wonder you are such a successful blogger because you represent all of the positive traits that you mentioned. I really enjoy your blog and admire you for putting it all out there.

georgia b. said...

oh, my goodness! i am so happy that i can now comment here. i saw this post title on my dashboard, and i had to come read it. but i read knowing i would not be able to comment, and that frustrated me. last time i checked, i could not comment on your blog... because of the way the comment settings were set up, which are incompatible with my browser.

just for kicks, i clicked on the comment button, and it opened up this window! i'm ecstatic, because if there is one post i would want to comment on, it's this one! and now i can continue to comment here. thanks for changing your set up!

okay, now that i have needlessly rambled on, here is what i really want to say. you are the epitome of genuineness and what blogging should be about. i'll still never forget the way you faithfully visited jorjah-b {when i was blogging there more regularly} and leaving me thoughtful messages, even when i could not comment here. i've always been impressed with your kindness in that way. you are so the opposite of snobby or "elite" in blogland, and that is so refreshing. you have said very true things here. it's not about the numbers. i appreciate you writing this. and it is evident by your numbers that many others feel the same. thanks, christina! keep it up! you rock... still.

hugs right back at ya.

heisschic said...

booya! well said, lovee.


*virtual high five*

we should meet up for virtual drinks sometime.

vicki archer said...

Bravo Christina, blogging should be a joy not a task. I am only interested in the positive otherwise what is the point of wasting all these hours that we do. I want to amuse, please and make people smile and in turn I look to my favourite blogs for the same good feelings. Great post, xv.

The Drifter and the Gypsy said...

this is such a great post! it's so true, there's so much negativity going around it's very discouraging, but a little bit of kindness goes a long way!

caroline @ patagonia gifts said...

loved this post Christina! positive and warming. finally we all come to the same conclusion... you always get what you give... have a nice day, darling! xo

Tammy@InStitches said...

I couldn't agree more ! The Golden Rule applies to blogging just like real life. :)

Tamstyles said...

hey girl...well said...i notice a little bit of everything, and it can mess with you...but you move on..and do you!

Melanie's Randomness said...

You tell it!! I've seen more & more people lately upset because of nasty blogger comments. It's sad. Being kind is the best way to blog, I agree a 100%. Being rude is just plain mean. We're all doing this to have fun & get enjoyment out of it & maybe learn something so people should be nice.

Blueberry Park said...

Such a wonderful, honest and true post, Christina. And you and your blog are definitely the epitome of all you describe. I remember first discovering your wonderful blog and what a lovely feeling it was to have you be so kind and responsive in return. I can't believe you have been blogging for just over a year...shows what a natural you are and what a great welcoming home you have created.
I also want to thank you for your unbelievably kind comment on my quilt post. Honestly, Christina, it meant alot. I'm not sure I am 'stinking talented' but to even get that response from you means alot.
Keep blogging my dear and I look forward to more and more x

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

Amen sister! Continue to spread the positivity around! Stay fabulous Christina!! I must say majority are lovely people out there~
xo as always

Caroline @ The Feminist Housewife said...

This is soo true! Thanks for posting!!

Cristin said...

Yeah for being kind to one another! I love blogging too and try not to get caught up in the negative aspects. It is really a labor of love.

Keep up the great work!

cristin

Rhianne said...

This is such a great post - I've been tempted to write something similar but you've said it all for me - being kind is the best way to grow and it's so rewarding. I don't get as many comments as I used to but I don't care because the ones I get are from the blogs I love and their relevant saying the best things... I love that you're getting nice comments too :)

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Definitely. It's discouraging to hear the negativity but great to hear those positive comments as well. I agree with Tammy - the Golden Rule rocks online and in real life!

glam.spoon said...

there's a place for everyone in cyberspace... If I read something negative on someone's blog, I may not go back. We all have choices and I respect that you choose to be nice!

Lynda said...

AMEN!!!!

*grin*

Love,

Lynda

Diana said...

When my 'blogging bubble' burst after some elite snobby bloggers, i felt the community part of this fell apart for me, but the people (including you) I allow to be a part of my life (even if virtually) changed this for me.
Beautifully written, Christina.

flynn said...

hear, hear!

sheer whimsy said...

this is a wonderful post!! so true and lovely and well written :) you are a lovely blogger!

Cat said...

My dear, can I just say I absolutely adore you and your lovely blog!

Here is to spreading love, support, and warm fuzzies!

xo Cat

Design Darling said...

i couldn't agree with you (and my fellow commenters) more. your blog is positively lovely and epitomizes the kindness, excitement, honesty, and inspiration that got us all into blogging in the first place. thank you for writing, commenting, and inspiring. you practice what you preach, and we love you for it.

say.la vie said...

I completely appreciate this post!! My number one theme in life is to be kind and smile often. There's no need for negativity. NONE. I was out of the blog world for quite a while (as you know), but was so happy to reconnect with YOU. Keep up the astounding and kind work. I don't know you personally, but consider you a friend. I look forward to continued inspiration from your corner of the world! xx, Naphtali

ChloƩ said...

this was such a great post. it really was. i completely agree with you on all of this. thank you for sharing this with us all. blogging is not about the numbers, and maybe it is for some people, but if that is their only concern? that is not the type of blog that i want to be reading. so thank you thank you thank you!

SabinePsynopsis said...

In the beginning I was surprised how nice people were. I don't need people to be gushing all the time and I prefer a critical, thinking comment to an 'automated' one (you know the ones that just seem to run around and comment as much as they can to get their rating up) - but a blog is quite a personal thing and I realise how easy it is to hurt someone, at least I feel easily hurt if people are mean. But - to come to the beginning again - most people are absolutely lovely.

Wally said...

Thanks for the reminder of positive thinking - you are so right.
When I started my blog I made a deal with myself, that I never would display anything, because I had something negative to say about it. I only want to share stuff that I have something good to tell you all about.
:-) Annette, Wally´s Paper

undomestic chica said...

I think htat's the best advice I've ever read! I can't believe you've only been blogging for a little over a year, I hope you continue for a really long time!

tape_queen said...

This is refreshing to hear. I often wonder why other bloggers, or even just people in general (real world or not), don't realize the simple value of being kind to others. It has always been obvious to me that you are a nice person and I really like that about your blog. It's an inviting, friendly space that I enjoy coming back to because of it. There are the toxic folks in this world who need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better, but it comforts me to know that these are the very people who are the most uncomfortable with their own selves anyhow. :)

drollgirl said...

girlie, you write so well. you pour your little pea pickin' heart out onto this blog and into all of your efforts, and it shows. you are fab. and it is a pleasure to come here. so thank YOU! :)

Gabby said...

Thanks for this post. I agree with you about so much. Blogging can get very narcissistic and it can be so easy to only focus on numbers. But that's not what it's about. Your blog is one of my faves because you never bash anyone, beg for followers, etc. Like tape_queen said above, your blog truly is a friendly, inviting space. Again, thanks for posting this!

Taj Acosta said...

Hi doll, just found your blog today and love it! Great insight, I am still relatively new in blogland, but I agree with you in that the energy you put out is the energy you attract and if it's sincere and kind, you will attract that. I like to leave it at that and not worry about the #'s! That's writing for the wrong reasons no? Anyhow, glad I found you, keep it glam! xoxo

The Thirty-Something Bride said...

Lovely sentiment. Thanks for sharing. Wish I'd said it myself!

Helena - A Diary of Lovely said...

thank you so much for your kindness Christina you are a great blogger and a role model to follow! Thanks!

Julie (brown eyed belle) said...

What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing. I think sometimes bloggers need to be reminded by other bloggers that it's not just about the numbers. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the numbers. Thank you for this little reminder today. Happy Wednesday!

lisaroy said...

Such a great post! I agree - there are a lot of negative people out there and I truly believe that life is much too short to live in such negativity. I've only been blogging for 3 months and have had so many lovely comments about my posts and it really does warm my heart that someone takes the time to leave a few words. Sometimes I feel closer to my followers than I do to my own extended family! I think good karma attracts good karma and I think it's nice to spread some warm fuzzies around. xx

Jessica said...

Thank you for this. It's so uplifting to read - and a pertinent reminder that a blogging is community building.

Anonymous said...

The snob blogs with lots of followers because of giveaways are fake. They are simply copy cats and wanna be designers with ulterior motives who are hoping for a big book deal! Why can't people see that? You can find their so called original style copied from books and magazines on a daily basis. It's wrong to copy others and take the credit. Bad apples aren't good.

vmichelle said...

Yes, there are sometimes aspects of blogging and it's world that can make your head hurt. But I love your post - it's sincere and genuine and simple. Right on!

s a m said...

I understand the stress of the numbers thing, and something I never even understood before I became a blogger.

It helps to remember why I started. Before I knew what a hit-counter or a follower was, the reason I blogged was to share the way I saw the world. And that doesn't have anything to do with numbers.

And being kind is definitely part of that :)

Silver Strands said...

Great post! I really love your blog.

I have also noticed a trend of negativity in some of the comments of the blogs I've read and it just bums me out!

Thanks for your positivity!

Rhiannon Nicole said...

I just found your blog and am so glad I did. I struggled a lot with some of these issues when I first started my blog. I would visit specific people I looked up to religiously and they would never visit me and I feel like it's just nice to have a relationship where both parties are supportive? Maybe that's just mean, but this post was amazing. Your blog is amazing and you, from what I can tell are pretty amazing. Keep being you :) I will be back for more greatness!! xo Thank you.

Rhiannon Nicole said...

PS I ALWAYS return emails to people who leave comments on my blog and then I visit them too. Isn't this what it's all about? New friends, communicating, discovering? I thought I was the only one who did this! :)

Haven and Home said...

I could not agree more. Why be rude? Being nice is the way to go! Whenever I feel myself getting drawn into the blog ratrace I just remember why I started, as an online journal for myself. I am so touched when people comment or e-mail, I still can't believe anyone reads what I write! You have a fabulous blog, don't let the negativity get you down!!!!

xx,

Marianne

FROM THE RIGHT BANK said...

Well said, my dear. And once again, another example of why you're one of my favorite bloggers. xoxo, Ally

Shasta Blair said...

Amen. Thank you for sharing your heart, for saying the truth - neither weak nor harsh - but the simple truth that what is excellent and genuine never compromises integrity but extends grace. Positivity is not for the lame, its simply understanding that we're on the same team.

Please keep sharing your bright and wise personality - it makes a difference.

SweetOnVeg said...

I couldn't agree more. I've been having some similar thoughts lately. This is a beautiful post. Positivity rules!

Comrade Ade said...

Very inspired by your words. Thanks

Gina said...

I am a blogger and I agree with you a million times over. So TRUE! I am so happy I found your blog. It's a joy to read and be a part of :)

Mustang Key Rings said...

Excellent its very nice

Melissa Allam said...

I just clicked on over here from Rhianne' blog and really like what you have to say. It's hard sometimes not to compare ourselves with other blogs and the numbers, etc. I did that for awhile and it didn't bring about a positive feeling. When I share myself and things I like on my blog and others comment, it is the highlight of my day. It's making the connections and making friends that keeps me blogging. I figure if they can make the time to visit me, then I can make time to return the visit.

modish said...

Very well said, I love that you brought this up. I try to always be kind and positive but I often fall so short on time that I cant respond to emails and comments like I'd like to, and I so worry about people thinking me rude because of it. But your post reminds me that it does really mean a lot to people to receive a response and feel that moment of connection. And I like it a lot too, but I don't make it a priority when I get super busy. And I think it definitely should be. Because it all boils down to connecting with people. That's the best part of blogging, what it's all about. Thanks for this post, and for the little reminder!

brismod said...

Well written. And I guess you're proof that kindness goes a long way.

miss dzine said...

Thanks a lot for putting blogging into perspective. Unfortunately, there is a lot of snark going on in the blogosphere that I think is a waste of energy.

homemade grits said...

clearly you are not alone in these thoughts! i feel you. one thing that caught my attention that we haven't talked about are the people that ask for advice but never thank you for it. this happens to me ALL THE TIME. rude. love you see you sat!!

Slices of Beauty... said...

Lovely post!
Numbers are good but they are not 'everything'.

Keep up the good work.

TERI REES WANG said...

Yes, there seems to be an astounding number of Debbie Downers on etsy, lately

Seyma said...

thank you Christina for reminding me once again why i'm here on your blog.. thank you for your sincerity.. you're such a doll for real..

and it's so nice to know you at heart..

hope you're gonna keep this no matter what..
xoxo

DiamondsandTulle said...

Thanks so such a wonderful post! Being pretty new to the blogging world, there are always questions on my mind on how to be "successful". But I agree with you 100% to be kind and you'll get what you give back tenfold. I love your blog and it's apparent why - we all love it - you! So virtual Hi Fives, Virtual Hugs, and a real life Thanks!

xx Vivian @ http://diamondsandtulle.blogspot.com

Uncle Beefy said...

The scene: Beefy pushes chair away from the table. He dusts the cake crumbs from the entire front of his jacket and pants. Grabbing a champagne glass he raises it high and boisterously exclaims "CHEERS TO YOU, Christina!!!"

i.e., Well said, m'dear... WELL said! :)

Down and Out Chic said...

all of you, every single one of you, make me smile so much that my face kind of hurts.

You Are My Fave said...

Exactly. Niceness is the way to go. I hope to never come across as too cool for school. Because I know I'm not.

Paige said...

Thank you for this post!!!

B said...

magnificently written. it hurts my heart when i see, hear and feel women damaging other women. we need each other and i mean NEED each other. blogging offers a wonderful way to connect to like minds and diverse souls alike - why not embrace it all.

and...come to think of it, i think i need to leave you feeback for my earrings ;)

Dreamy Whites said...

Dear Christina,
I love this post. Thank you for all the advice. So well put! I love the part about being nice, and especially the part about remaining true to who you are! : ))) That is such great advice. I think every blogger should read this post!
I hope you have a lovely day!
Take Care,
Maria

Christy said...

Hallelou!!!! I think you hit the nail right on the head with that one! Being kind and considerate will get you farther than pretty much anything else in life! I don't even know you in the 'real world', but just reading your sincere thoughts and comments lets me know that you truly are a wonderful person!

Keep on preachin' that gospel!!!

:)

chelsea said...

Thank you for writing this! i agree 100% !!

Color Collective said...

Well said!! Thanks for this post!!

passport in my pocket said...

bravo, bravo! well said and so true.

Wendy said...

What a wonderful post! Words we all need to live by! Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone was always kind to each other! Thank you!
Wendy

Andrea said...

So true, I love every word you said ! Sometimes I wonder if I am a good blogger or not ,but I guess I am,I am kind, I love to give things away on my blog too!

tara said...

wonderful advice, perfectly said there is something to be said for that old saying, what goes around comes around, so I just remember to always be nice!! Thank you for posting this!!!

Sweet Old Vintage said...

This post I find to be very honest and very inspiring... Thanks so much... I love blogging... It is a wonderful outlet for me in retiring as I am tiring.... I so hope I am one whom can inspire others... as most of my thoughts are always done on a budget... and I try to give hope to others that may be walking in the same shoes... I love all the lavish and glamorous blogs but mainly feel mine is more down home... So glad I found you.... and so glad to meet you... Wishes and blessings sent your way.....

Tattered Goods said...

Good afternoon! I just found you through another blog I follow and WOW...you are so right... it kinda goes back to the saying... treat others as you would like to be treated. I sometimes find myself going poor me, I am not good enough, I don't have enough followers, why can't I write like her, my pictures suck, my house is not chic enough and then I remember I am so blessed and have a wonderful family and friends. I thank you for your honesty and sharing your truthful perspective of this lovely place we call blogland... I lovelovelove your view on this and found it WELL said. I hope you have an amazing rest of your afternoon.

Smiles and Blessings,
Sheila

Creamy White said...

Dear Cristina, What a wonderful post. I really think "every Blogger" should read this one and even before they start. We all make mistakes, right? But why not go back and say sorry...it's so easy and simple. I'm quite new into this comunity and only have positive thoughts to share (and my owon work, wich is with my hands).
But I also send nice emails and never, buet never got a response back, not even to read a thank you. I actually ended up thinking this is a commom thing on this community, but reading your post today, made me think in a diferent way. And about the Giveaway...I don't think I would ever enter again, since I got once a email form a blogger saying she could choose me as a winner and feature me! I don;t think it's fair, even if it was with all the best intentions from thar lady.
But, as in all communities, we have to be careful and cary on.
I love my followers, i pay attention as much as I can to all of my followers (and I'm glad I don't have thousands actualy, because I don't know if I would have enough time to reply to all of them...
Anyway, Dear Cristina, thanks for the lovely post.
Hugs,
Li

Jeannie B. said...

I enjoyed reading your blogging information. I especially like the "Mom" saying.

"You don't have to be friends, but you have to be nice." I think I will use it on my teenager next time it's needed!!

ZAIRA said...

Hi Christina, I'm new I come from Dreamy Whites. I'm happy that someone has the courage to tell what many people don't: I've been blogging for only few months, but understood that also in blogland, as in real life, there are many fake friendships...I was talking about this with Maria. People who want to use you and for what? we are all doing a thing to enjoy...anyway, it's true being nice is the first thing. And all the rest follows naturally when people know who you are.

Thanks so much for telling the true, I already like you for this. I will follow you by.

Zaira xx

Claire Kiefer said...

Weird that there are politics and popularity in blogging. :) I think I'll just stick to my little space where pretty much people who know me in real life read what I say in order to skip all that. haha. I love you and your blog and this post!

p.s. what do you think about Atlanta in June? Can we make it happen? I'll be there June 5-14. one of these days :)

Tailored Trash Queen said...

You are so right. It doesn't make sense to tear each other apart! Naturally I am drawn to positive and original blogs -- like your's! Thank you again for sharing because it has really reminded me how important we all are to one another.

Les

tale of many cities said...

visiting via another blog.. and i am definitely 100% in agreement with you! to me, it's not about the numbers [followers].. but more about the love & support my few regulars send my way. i visit lots of blogs, leaving comments & expressing my enjoyment/appreciation for what they have to say.. never expecting anything in return. that's the key for me. positivity spreads! :) thanks for your post!!
many blessings,
-Tracie

Ruby’s Upcycle Designs™ said...

Great post! I agree that in life in general, as well as blogging...kindness matters! Life is short, let's celebrate each other!
Friends,
Beth

Cindy said...

My first time here, Maria mentioned you and because I love her blog I thought I would see what she was talking about. I couldn't agree more. I have taken pains to 1) not care whether I have followers or not and 2) not have a counter that counts how many followers or visitors that I have.
I get between 4 - 6 comments per post and I am thrilled.
It's about making a few fast friends and enjoying the process of blogging and loving other blogs.
I know this is not how most bloggers think, but I refuse to be competitive.
Hugs, Cindy S

mise said...

That's all so true, and it's one disadvantage of that little followers box many of us have. It's great to see that there are people there reading what we write, but maybe the awareness of how many exactly isn't so good as it makes us too growth-aware. Well spoken, and yes, this is a super corner of the web with its sincere goodwill.

Vintage Junky said...

what a great post! I came over here from Dreamy Whites. I am a packaging kind of girl and I am instantly drawn in by your adorable header! So cute!

Michelle

maura said...

Great post, saw info on dreamy whites about your blog.

{The Classy Woman} said...

I found you via Dreamy Whites. This is my first time visiting your blog. I really enjoyed this post, it's so true. All you can do is be yourself and be kind and. If you already believe you are a success, there is no amount of followers, mentions, or praise that is required.

I really enjoy blogging, I don't have a huge amount of followers like so many of those with budget decor blogs. Although I run an Interior Design business I wanted my message to be one that would truly enhance and transform the lives of others.

I'm saddened when I come across those with an 'elitist' attitude and as you suggested those that don't take the time to look outside of their own bubble.

I'm glad I found your blog today! I am going to link to you and share this post with my readers if that's okay with you. :)

~Karla

Tracey @ My House of Giggles said...

I've just "met" you and I love you already!! I came over from the lovely Maria's blog, and I'm so happy to find your beautiful blog!

I couldn't agree more with your post. You just can't go wrong with being nice. :)

I can't wait to look around some more :)

Tracey said...

Hi-I was looking at "Dreamy Whites" and she linked to you today...and I am so glad! I am a new blogger. I started blogging because I love the creative outlet and community of so may like minded women. I was just having a pity party about my "27" followers...and then read your post. It made me so grateful for them all 27! They are kind, and so encouraging! Love really does make the world go round...

KarenSue said...

I'm adding you to my blog list and I have not even looked at yours yet. Thank you for being the brave one. I have not encountered any of this so far and hope I don't.
Have a great weekend!

Morning T said...

Hi Christina~ coming to you via Dreamy Whites. Love this post and I agree with you 100%! Do unto others is always great advice. You've been very successful for a reason.
Cheers~
T

Kasey said...

i don't know how i found myself here...
but kudos to getting it out!
xo

Sam said...

Awwww! Likewise sweetie! It's a bit of a mine field out there at times, isn't it? High five to you and your sweet sweet blog! XO's

Vintage French Hen said...

perfectly said! Thank you...
Marcia

the VG huis said...

Hi Christina,

I've only been blogging for a couple months and mostly to myself...but I found you via Dreamy Whites, and I loved your post on being kind. I can't wait to search through the rest of your blog. I am a happy new follower.

Stacey

gretchen said...

so on target ....
life is too short to bother with mean people!

DustyLu said...

YEEEESSS! Enough said! You hit the nail on the head! Perfect post. I agree sooooo much!! Thank you! ~lulu

Kacey said...

What a great outlook! I agree wholeheartedly. I've been blogging for a few years, but still consider myself a relative newcomer. There is so much to learn and figure out in the blogging world, but I think those simple basics are very important to remember.

Simply Mel said...

Christina~
From the moment I came across your blog, I knew I would never leave! You bring a fresh, honest, sweet approach to the blogging world (and to the outside world for that matter!). Thank you for being you, for posting these words and for reminding people that nice is really the only way to live and be.
Big Kisses to you!
Melissa

Kerry said...

This is my first visit to your blog and I'm glad I made it. Kindness, compassion, support are so important not just in this virtual world, but everywhere. It's something I've always told my kids...there's no merit in being mean. Thanks for putting it out there. That was a cracker of a post!

Megan said...

So true!

Blogging, at times, has felt a like a popularity contest to me.
Thanks to some really nice women, I no longer feel like I'm on the outside looking in.

Happy to have come across your blog.

Short Southern Momma said...

Hi! What a great post, so nice that someone has reminded us all of The Golden Rule. I am a fairly new follower but I have loved the ride so far. Hope your having a wonderful day sweet friend! xoxo

winnibriggs said...

As a very new blogger I am delighted to say that I have met many of those who do follow your advise and echo what you say wholeheartedly. My mum always used to say if you cannot say something nice don't say it at all and I think she was right. My experience so far has been lovely, I hope it continues.

A-M said...

Thank you for this post. I receive nasty blog comments on a daily basis....often hesitating to open my inbox while anticipating the next one. I can't for the life of me work out why these people do it and how they get any joy out of it. I take comfort in hanging out with the 'bloggy angels' I have met in the past 2 years that I have been blogging and I truly believe that good prevails over evil. It's so easy - be nice - and don't it make ya feel good too! A-M xx

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Well said my friend...well said~

Razmataz said...

I like to think that I am building my blog 1 follower at a time, and I value each and everyone of them. I always try to respond to frequent or new commenters. Some comments, are just that...a thumbs up, a chuckle, a nod, but others are more in depth and took more time and these are a form of dialogue and should be treated as such. That said, there are blogs I love and comment on all the time on and never receive a response, yet I see them comment on other blogs. That makes we wonder why I bother anymore. I hate this because it makes me feel "High School" again, and we all know how that popularity contest felt.

On another note, I think we need to have more "open" comments to encourage dialogue, argument and viewpoints without being nasty. If we are all "FLUFFY and PRETTY" in our comments, this whole blogging thing loses it authenticity. I recently posted a picture of an Industrial Storage Locker on my blog that I had just brought into my shop for sale. Someone emailed me and said "Good God, where the heck did you get that awful thing?" I LOVED that. We can have an authentic Blogging World of well meaning, creative and well intentioned,challenging people and keep it fun and make it even better.

Your post today had already done that. thank you.

Chania

Betty Jo said...

What an incredible post! One of the best I've ever read on blogging. I so agree with all that you've said and thank you so much for saying it. It used to be about the number for me, but no longer. I'm just doing what I enjoy and that's the bottom line for me. I'm signing up as a follower of your blog and adding you to my inspiring friend's page. ♥

Diane@InMyOwnStyle said...

Hi Christina-

Your post seems to have hit the nail on the head with many of us bloggers. I am still fairly new and have- like you said, studied, watched and am listening to all that goes on in the blogosphere. It is like our mothers taught us - to be nice to others. I also think we don't have to be perfect, just be ourselves. I think we don't have to be super sweet all the time either, but that we should leave comments that are thougtful and evoke a conversation.

Emelie Stanfield said...

Food for thought, for sure. And you are coming at it from a wonderful perspective. x

LuLu said...

great post... my first time to your blog and i'll be back!!!
xo,
LuLu

Elizabeth said...

Wow! Well said!!!!! I've only been blogging for a short time and I think you definitely have to be careful not to get caught up in negativity.
We all know that saying... if you can't say anything nice don't say it at all. Harsh unkind words
can wound the heart and disturb the soul.
So far I have to say I love the positive comments that
others give it is so uplifting
to the soul. That's what I have come to love about blogging, the kindness the incouragement and the inspiration that can be given through this wonderful world of blogging. So have fun,be yourself,
be careful, and it will bring great joy.
Elizabeth

brillianttreescollective said...

Great post - definitely words to live by online and in the real word!!

I think we are often brought up or encouraged to do and be whatever we want but we are not told that it pays to be nice and do right by others along the way. You might not agree with others opinions but we should always respect those points of view. You never know it might just open up a new world of wonderful possibilities.

Justine

Kathysue said...

Well Put!!Bravo!! I am new to blogland as a blogger. I have read blogs for over a year and just finally jumped into blogland after a lot of encouragement from other bloggers and friends. So far, I must say it has been a wonderful journey. I have not seen or heard any negativity thrown my way,yet and I hope I don't. It is nice to meet you and learn how you feel right off the bat. You are my kind of blogger!! Kathysue

Rebecca Timson said...

I think I am the 111th comment to this post. Wow... I completely agree with your post. I am a new-bee :) to the blog world and really use it to be inspired by others. I found a link to your site via Dreamy Whites... thats why i love this virtual world because there is this world of alleys that if you explore you may just come away smiling.

Ta
beq

Kare said...

What a wonderful post Christina. You have a fantastic blog, I adore it already. I'm so happy to discover it today via Maria @Dreamy Whites. I've only been blogging for a few months & have come across some positively fabulous & sweet new friends...as well experienced some of the less pleasantness. I so agree with you...always be kind, positive & keep a sunny disposition. There's no room/need for the negatives when you fill your world this way. I simply try to avoid toxicity as much as possible. You know what they say about Karma....

So nice to meet you & I look forward to following along.

Have a super weekend!
Kare

Farmgirl Paints said...

So well said. My favorite thing about blogging is the positive affirmation it gives. I can throw myself out there and people cheer me on and pat me on the back. I can in return encourage others. What a wonderful world it is...this blogging community.

Fortunately I've been blessed by only positive comments. My views would probably differ tremendously if people were hurtful or malicious. Thanks for a great post. I'll probably come back to see you:)

Kare said...

P.S. You're banner is beautiful, I love it!!

Janine Marshall said...

Hi Christina,

WOW a huge response to your posting. I don't have a blog myself but am obsessed with interiors. I remember working out how to post my first comment and thought they would respond and welcome me and acknowledge my comment, I was so excited...I went back a few days later but nothing. It was a bit of a wake up call. Bloggers with a lot of comments, I don't expect them to respond to each and every one (that would be silly) but if the same commentators keep coming back then I think a comment to thank them or at least acknowledge that you know they are there should be done. I reckon as a guide 10 comments and under, no excuse not to respond at least sometimes. I know the blogs that I visit, the ones that have NEVER responded to any of my comments and initially thought they must be so busy, but then you notice they leave comments on the popular blogs ALL the time. I know some will say how busy they are, but we are all busy and I don't think that is an excuse for bad manners. If you take the time to write your blog, then you should take the time to take care of the people that comment....a pet hate of mine is asking a genuine question and NEVER getting an answer!! Let's put the boot on the other foot for a minute and say if you posted on your blog and you did this for say, 6 months and NOBODY left a comment in all that time, not one response, how would you feel??? I don't think many would want to continue. I know if that happened to me I wouldn't! So for whatever reason you have your blog, the icing on the cake is knowing there are people out there that have 'called in' and have taken the time to respond with a comment. I think like life it takes all types to make the world go round, and just like when you meet a person you know fairly quickly if you would like to have a friendship or not...and with a blog it's the same, so if you are the writer of the blog, maybe you don't like the writing style of how that commentator has expressed themselves, and that is why some don't respond AT ALL - NEVER I don't know, just something I've been thinking about lately....you know, maybe the comments that I have left on the blogs, they don't like what I have to say, waffle on (just like I'm doing now!!!!)??? What do you all think??? Does that ever come into it??? I think we can all express what we think but do it in a way that is not nasty....some people really do need to get with the programme!!! Down from my soap box now!
Take care
Janine
XXOO
Tasmania, Australia

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

I just found you for the *first* time (how is that possible?) via Dreamy Whites. I loved every word of this post! Blogging is something that we should each do, first and foremost, for ourselves. I get so tired of all of the striving... Just write what makes YOU happy or what You feel led to share. If people come along for the ride, that's the frosting!

Lynda @ Happenstance Home said...

Hello. I just found your blog through Maria at Dreamy Whites and I think she is exactly the good example that you speak of. You can just feel her kindness right through her blog. I think just like in life it is best to be kind. There is really no room for the rest. Have a great night.

Debbie said...

I just started blogging recently, and have worried if anyone would even read what I write. Then I read your blog today.What a difference it made in my mindset about blogging. Thank you for being so straightforward and honest. This is my first time here, but not my last.

Lauren said...

wow. this was such an awesome post. just came over from dreamy white and am so glad to have found you!!

I loved all that you said & also have to admit that it does make me feel a bit guilty/ sad... esp reading janine marshall's comment...
I feel a constant guilt about not being able to answer all of the awesome ppl who comment on my blog. I rarely "surf" for blogs the way I used to and have a hard time checking out all of the ones that are new to me. My own personal life has gotten really hectic and the time I have for blogging has really been cut short & there's so little of it that writing the posts takes up almost all of the time I have, and I end up checking blogger's blogs who have become really good friends & leaving comments to them.

of course i always love discovering a blog that's new to me (right now = case in point) but it's just not something i get to do as much as i want.

anyway, perfect post- thanks for sharing!!
xoxo

vintage tickled pink said...

Just... Thank You ... it needed to be said and you have a blessed day diane from vintagetickledpink

Twice Remembered said...

I really appreciate and agree whole heartedly with this post! I've thought a lot about the very same issues and have recently made changes to my own blog and approach to blogging. I decided to remove public commenting {now it's all private communication via email}. This helps me to give better attention to those that take the time to comment - something that was harder for me when all the comments were public. It's not for everyone, I know, but it's working great for me personally. I wrote a post with similar sentiments as yours {link below} a couple of months back if you care to see it. Thanks for your honest thoughts!
Compared to Others: Life, Homemaking, and Blogging

Willow Decor said...

Very well said!! I agree with everything. I try to answer as many comments as I can with personal replies. I think in general the blogging community has been very nice and supportive overall. I really dislike the mean comments though - If you don't have something nice to say - just say nothing at all. My mother was right!!
xx-Gina

Kerri said...

What a thoughtful and insightful post, and so helpful to a very new blogger like me. I've found you via Maria @ Dreamy Whites, and only sorry I haven't done so earlier. For the most part, I've been so encouraged by the wonderful bloggers, both new and well-established, that have welcomed me and taken the time to comment. There are always some that, no matter how many times you leave a comment, don't even bother to acknowledge it, but that's life and you just have to move on. Thanks so much for the fantastic post, now following your blog and loving it!
K xx

Beach House Living said...

Wow, this is a brave post. I've been batting the idea around yet could not have hit the nail on the head as well as you have.

Sometimes, I don't have a comment to leave I think that is better then being insincere and I would suspect some don't have a comment for me.

I admit I'm not sure who is who sometimes since they leave their real name in comments and the title of their blog is something different I simply can't remember who belongs to who.

Some blogs I simply adore their owners may think I'm a bit off by how I ramble at times in a comment.

I have found a few artists whose work I have admired and featured them why not? It's lovely and too good not to share such talent.

I agree with the person that noted there are blogs I've commented on consistently without a comment back but see their comments elsewhere consistently. I've wondered if I offended them and would rather know (my email contact info is there) then the cold shoulder.

As for someone doing well with their shop be a web page, Etsy or some other outlet why not be happy for them. I believe there is an abundance to go around and wish everyone to reach their dreams and goals. Sadly, some who capture them or are on the path upwards forget some of the support they have received. I wonder if this is one of the types of elitism you refer to.


I have been blessed with some wonderful followers and other Etsy sellers some who have frequented my shop as well. They are instrumental to the surprise and happiness I have felt. They have cheered and inspired me to push myself to try new ideas.

Some followers and even more surprising non followers have featured my work on their blogs. To me that is an honor and one I do not take lightly. I'm sure they don't fully believe me when I gush thanks. Truly, I pinch myself and squeal in delight to my husband who must drag himself away from his beloved t.v. or hear me read it to him.

Thank you again for this well written post. Obviously I liked it see how I rambled?

Kind regards,

The Little Red Shop said...

God bless you! I really appreciate your post. I have a blog and I know that I'm way behind in my correspondence. I feel pretty bad about that and I'm steadily working on responding back to everyone...but I know the rest of the story of my life...and we have no idea what is going on behind the scenes in the lives of others...really. It's just after 2am...and I should be fast asleep...but I'm commenting. I don't usually get finished with my own blog posts until around this time..which makes commenting back instantly, well, sometimes challenging. I want to respond thoughtfully...and then I get further behind. I read a comment on another blog recently. The reader stated that it was their first time commenting because they didn't feel that they'd had anything worthy to say in the past. I think that's sad. Just having someone say "hello" or post a smiley face is encouraging. Blogging is a lot of work in itself...at least I know that it is for me...and I like to make people happy. When I leave a comment, I mean it...even if it's silly. Now, I'd really better get to bed. I hope that you have a beautiful weekend. Thank you again for opening up this conversation!

: )

Julie M.

Sternberg Werke said...

thank you for this post - as a blogging-beginner it was quite helpful to read these words - thanks!

Alexis said...

I loved this post. I think a lot of what you said applies so much even to the offline world.

I had problems with negativity and rudeness with my classmates last semester. It affected even our teachers, who I am close to, making them feel bad and actually dreading to go to class. :(

Thanks so much for writing this post. I hope more people take it to heart. :)

The Cottage Cheese said...

I heart you Christina :)

I agree, I want nothing to do with the negativity. That's one reason why although I love reading Apartment Therapy, I don't very often because so many of the commenters are negative. I'm so sorry to hear of the nasty people you've encountered on the Etsy forums. I personally have never experienced that, but I only frequent the "Who Loves Vintage?" thread, which is full of some of the sweetest, most encouraging people I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I even know of several regulars on that thread who don't sell vintage, but just like to be a part of the positive, welcoming place.

Anyway, I think that's in part why you are such a successful blogger: because we (your readers) all know that you are a such caring, genuine person. It's nice to be nice, and I wish everyone would remember that!

Lana of Honeysuckle Lane said...

How true! If we are kind to one another, everything else should fall into place. I, too, am astounded at the comments in Etsy forums. I wonder if people forget that there are real people behind the avatars and online IDs.
Thank you for this post ~ you articulated it perfectly. :)

Dawn-Hydrangea Home said...

Great post! I your outlook and have to agree with everything you said! Have a great weekend!

The Misty Journey said...

Thanks for your input and openness on how you view blogging. I appreciated the words: "Above all be kind." You also mentioned: "The online community is no different than the real world in that it takes all kinds and you don't have to be friends with everyone but you should be nice." and "I'm reminded that success isn't a number, or a mention, or a link." I want my blog to grow, I want followers like others have and sometimes have wondered what I do wrong. Why do people who say they like your blog, read it all the time, but don't follow you? I have 4 followers and have for a very long time...the rest don't bother to let me know. Its sad, but what you said is true and really it doesn't matter. Everyone wants someone to follow their blog but they don't think about following others. If we were all kind in all areas of life, we would not have a lot of the issues we have. Thanks for the simple but profound reminder.

Ginger said...

Oh my goodness, shame on rude, negative people.
Love you, my dear, and wish you nothing but success; the thoughts and emotions come back to us times three (this is what I believe) so I always try to radiate good wishes and ignore the haters, knowing how unhappy they must be to need to spread that around.
Good luck on your craft show tomorrow! And wish me luck; I'm applying for my first big show next week, and I'm hoping to get a table!

Iva said...

I adore you and your blog. and this is the bestest post ever. you always give it your all, and always genuinely! I always learn so much from you. ALWAYS!!!

Sharon@Sharon at Home said...

What a nice post. As mom always said "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything".

The blogging community can be very supportive ... I didn't blog for about 5 days and had someone send me a note to make sure I was ok .... from half way around the world ... how nice is that!!!

Thanks for your comments.

carolyn said...

so grateful to have stumbled upon your darling blog and this post. i couldn't agree more. freedom of speech is a right, but words sure can sting. thank goodness for people like you who aren't afraid to remind us to be kind.

FrenchGardenHouse said...

Very well said! It's the best part of blogging, meeting lots of people who are kindred spirits. And being nice to them. Nice is good. :) Hope you have a happy weekend, xo Lidy

Kristin @ My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia said...

Hi There-
This is my first time here through dreamy whites and just wanted to say thank you for posting this, expecially for us new bloggers! I'm also thankful becuase I have a new blog to read, yours! :) Thought I would post what I said to Maria regarding your post. Hope you have a great weekend.
Take care
Kristin
Dear Maria-
Thanks for the link, what a wonderful read. I guess becuase I have been in the blogging world for such little time I have not come accross anyone who has been rude or had other intentions, I guess I have been so fortunate! I'm just thankful that I have met so many wonderful friends like you through blogging that are all in it for the right reasons. It's so wonderful to have a group of friends that are true and real! As women we need to stick together, not wish negativity amongst each other!

hometown girl said...

well said, i tell my kids these very things, you don't have to be buddies with everyone but you do have to be nice. a good reminder for us all in blogland. i have made some incredible friends and am so grateful for them and their encouragement!! enjoy your weekend! your blog is lovely! susan

Anita said...

Hi Christina. I found you through Dreamy Whites. I am only 1 week into blogging though I've been reading for awhile! I appreciate your post. I haven't seen any of the negativity but I'm sure I will with time ;) I do appreciate peoples opinions and I feel like that is how we all grow and change. But certainly it can be done in a way that is not hurtful. Have a great weekend!

Julie@beingRUBY said...

Hi Christina
I've just popped over to your blog for the first time and found this wonderful post. I have to say I've been blogging just over a year now and see how much people can change with a little popularity under their belt.. ... and also grateful for the ones who don't. I totally agree the only rules we need is to be ourselves and appreciate those who visit and comment.... and as you say... return in kind.... Mise put up a good point also... it's easy to get a little fixated on growth when you see all the numbers flying around you.. on your own and your friends blogs.. but in reality it should be about self expression and like minded friends ...not popularity... Great to see this post keeping it real... Now I need to see the rest of your blog... oh and Happy May Day.. Julie

Alison Gibbs said...

First time visiting your blog after reading a post Maria of Dreamy Whites did on you.
This is a perfect post you have done. I don't think it could be any better said and in reality it is so easy to be 'nice'
Take care
Alison

Jessica said...

Hello Christina,
I just recently (1 month ago) discovered all the blogs about handmade things and I was so happy when I saw all the beautiful things people make themselves, read the funny and encouraging words from others and discovered that there is something that is called a give-away. I come accross a new blog everyday and it really inspires me. As does yours!
So a good strong hug and a positive thought all the way from The Netherlands from Jessica (don't have a blog but to tell you a little bit about me I work as a volunteer with donkeys, make lots and lots of small hearts from felt and fabric, little boxes with images from Flower children on them and just yesterday started making earrings - I hope to make many nice things for the open day we have next week for the donkeys

Janine Marshall said...

Hi Christina,

You have certainly received a lot of comments with this posting! I thought I would come back I have left a comment previously and clarify a couple of points. Firstly, when I started leaving comments I just presumed that every comment that was left would be answered, I obviously didn't look at the numbers!!! I would rather cut off my arms than hurt anyone's feelings, or make anyone feel sad/guilty and the first comments that I made were for the couple of blogs that I have noticed that NEVER respond (BARELY 10 COMMENTS AND UNDER)....only a couple of blogs, everyone else has been fantastic and I love the blogging world with like-minded souls.....I guess with the ones that NEVER acknowledge, maybe they have their reasons.....Anyway, more of the positive and ignore the negative!!!!
Take care
Janine
XXOO
Tasmania, Australia

Pansy Cottage Girl said...

I couldn't agree with you more!Bravo!

alexkeller said...

you have probably collapsed from the sheer exhaustion of selling everything you made for the fair, so when you see this, hugs right back at you! glad to have found you in cyber world :)

Tomas & Jones said...

Thank you so much for your lovely advice Christina. This is so true both in and out of the blogging world, & a good reminder every now and then.

I came across your blog somehow today, & I'm hooked! Looking forward to more of your honest, lovely writing.

Kind regards, Ruby Jones

Bromeliad said...

147 comments already. I probably can't say anything that hasn't already been said but I'm glad you've been both successful and kind, and I'm sure your kindness contributed to your success. D&OC has a definite positive vibe that keeps me coming back.

Amy said...

Gee, I just started my first blog yesterday! I am having so much fun and hope it will be a place I can put my ideas out and share things I love. But I really don't know the etiquette of many things...and the how tos...can you put a photo up that you saw somewhere else? Is it alright if you say where it came from? I don't know the how-tos yet, but I am trying adn learning adn so far enjoying it all.
Thanks for this post. I think your blog is just gorgeous.

Marija said...

This is my first visit to your blog and I'm glad that I landed here. Your message is simply perfect. Nothing to add. Just wanted to say I'll be back. And "be kind" is certainly good advice...not just in blogging :)

Marija

Fun With This and That said...

This my first time here. You said it all. Life is too short not to be nice. I will be back Laura

bonjouritsjinah said...

Christina, this was an incredibly positive and uplifting post. I'm so glad somebody had the guts to say this. And oh dear me, I'm really behind. I was saving your Earth Day shops post to read for when I had enough time to check out all the shops, and here we are, almost three weeks behind!

Alyssa said...

Thank you for for your beautiful, positive, and inspiring blog (and self!). I found it today, and it made my day. I'm adding it to my blogroll (over at doersofthings.com) this instant. Keep it up!

La Dolfina said...

Hi
Just came over on the suggestion of Rita from Beach House Living.
Thanks for taking the time to discuss the highs and lows of blogging.
Looking forward to getting to know more about you and your blog :)
Take care,
La Dolfina

Anna said...

Your just the cutest...and most clever little blog writer..I couldnt have said it better myself.
I have to admit..I havent experienced any real negativeness ...yet? since blogging..but Im sure I am going to have someone burst my bubble sooner or later..and then I will return back to this post to make me smile again ; ) Thanks lovely x

Amy said...

Thank you for this advice! I am a new blogger and really appreciate your honesty about the online community.

Tom Bjorn Designs said...

I am so happy I found this post and this blog!

Being NICE and KIND is an absolute must online! And it is not just about blogging.
Being kind to your customers, even those who didn't pay, or say that they changed their mind. everyone can make a mistake, I just communicate with them, as I wanted to be communicated to myself - with patience and knowledge that all people are good.

Tutti Chic said...

What a wonderful post & how true-how true! You nailed it here. I am so happy I found your beautiful blog & read this wonderful post. I wish some every blogger could read this! :) chris

Lindsay said...

Great post Christina!

I am new to the blogging world..and have realized that the old saying "Comparison kills contentment," is soo true!!.Thank you for this great post!

Delighted Momma

Jerico Jien said...

I agree with everything that you said about blogging. It's all true because same as you and all the other bloggers in the blogosphere, I've also experienced the same. The blogosphere is a great place where you can express your thoughts, feelings, ideas, your passion, creativity, everything.

It's a place where you are the star, and you have an audience watching and listening to you. With blogging, you can be anything you want and you can do anything you like. It's like your own wonderland. But there's one thing about the blogosphere that's the same with reality. You can't please everyone. That is why you still have to be nice. For me, being nice is being wise. You might not please everybody. But for sure you pleases a lot for being nice.

"Vacuum Cleaners | dyson dc25"

Linda Leyble said...

Hi Christina - great post.

I have found that there are more nice people blogging that negative and I always try to remember how amazing this community is. I know - there are the cliques and the elitists - but I think that the B, C and D listers on the blogging circuit are about to come into their own. And I want to be one of them. I just have to figure out how to get there!!! I'm tryin'!

Linda

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