Thursday, October 8, 2009

Heart to Heart: Where did you go?

Dearest Peer Bloggers,
So, every couple of months I try to "clean house" here on Down and Out Chic. I update my blog roll and re-evaluate sites I'm following and just generally try to get my bearings. I try not to spread myself to thin as I really do enjoy reading other blogs and leaving comments and I can't do that if I follow a bazillion blogs. Well, yesterday, much to my surprise, I realized that a few of the regular blogs that I frequent (not one, or two, a few!) have either:
a) deleted their blog
b) not posted in over a month w/no explanation
c) said a half hearted, "see you later."
What happened? Did you burn out? Do you not have time to update? Did you get into blogging and realize it wasn't for you ? Did you start blogging to make money and realize it's not EASY??? All of these are valid reasons and I'm not judging, however, you could have at least said "goodbye." I worry that you could be hurt or worse, not with us anymore.
So I'm asking you, fellow bloggers/readers/friends that if you're going to stop blogging, please give your readers the respect they deserve and say "good bye."
There are some of you (you know who you are) that I would probably start crying over if I clicked on your blog to find out that you deleted it. Don't you dare do that to me. I will find you.
Having a readership, whether it be 5 readers or 5,000 is a privilege and should not be taken lightly.
I promise you that I won't simply disappear without an explanation. I've even discussed with B, that in the unfortunate event that something happened to me, that he would log into my account and explain things to you. Believe me, I don't have an inflated sense of SELF when it comes to this blog- I know some of you might not care, but I also know that some of you would. The fact that you stop by here everyday, and whether you leave a comment or not is irrelevant because I know you're there (thank you sitemeter) is a humbling thing for me. I realize there are thousands of other places in cyberspace you could be, but you choose to be here and I'm truly honored to have you.
With that said, dearest friends, please don't leave without saying "bye." Let me wish you luck, let me say "thank you" for your posts, let me congratulate you on your new endeavors.
Because, believe it or not, I DO care.
xo,
Christina

35 comments:

DesBisoux said...

is it me being oversensitive today? every post i read is so personal and full of love?
xxx

Southern Aspirations said...

I've noticed that as well... some have commented about things in life... It can be tough- but yours was a sweet, touching post.

PS- may I say that I've missed you!? :-)

caroline @ patagonia gifts said...

oh so sweet! I will never leave without saying bye! have a beautiful day! xo

The Cottage Cheese said...

Several of my regular reads have stopped posting, although one did say a sort of goodbye in a post and explain why she's no longer blogging. It's tough when we lose a blogger, although I do understand that sometimes life can be a little too busy to make time for blogging. It can become consuming, can't it? But I do miss them!

When I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, and that I can't keep up my blog, feeling guilty that I haven't visited as many blogs as I'd like to, I take a day off from it and then come across a post like this sweet one of yours, and remember why we do this. It's a community, from which real friendships have flowered. And I'm very thankful :)

stephchows said...

it's weird when blogs stop... but also when normal readers stop commenting... I always think I must have done something wrong since they aren't commenting anymore.

Rhianne said...

I've had the same conversation with my boyfriend about if anything happened to me, I don't think I could just leave without saying goodbye.

Canadian Rockies Art - Nathalie Girard said...

Excellent post, so touching and a good reminder that behind every comment and every blog post, there is a person, and if they do not post anymore or stop commenting, we'd like to have at least the chance to say "Good bye and Good luck!" because we care about the folks in this community.

My husband has my log-ins too, just in case something would happen. It's always good to have a backup plan.

Jenna said...

It is always a bummer to stumble on a blog and there hasn't been a post in a long time. I agree a good bye is in order :)

You are a FABULOUS blogger Christina & everyone Loves that about you! For Sure!

xoxo
Jenna

Gabbi said...

I hear you Christina... I'm so morbid, but I sometimes think of all the MySpaces, Facebooks and blogs that belong to people who've died... their small personal journals floating in cyberspace and 'friends' left wondering what happened to them.

Also, how long have you been blogging now? I've only been doing it for a little over a year and it seems that most of my faves are about a year or a little over a year old. I wonder if blogging has a shelf-life for the author? Two years maybe and than they tire out? I hope not, I love blogging and can't imagine tiring of it, but I guess time'll...

Hope this wasn't a downer comment, it's really early for me :) 8:13am and coffee hasn't kicked in proper yet.

~KS said...

I am so thankful you think ahead and are so considerate... because if you left, I would truly miss you... and it's nice to know if, god forbid, something would happen, at least B would put our minds at rest... but let's just agree you won't ever go anywhere. I like it much better that way :)

TERI REES WANG said...

During the entire month of September, Mercury had gone retro-grade, bringing breakdowns in communication and transportation, computers too.

Today however is a really strong day for some good-heart-felt sharing with no fear of staring.

Enjoy.

FROM THE RIGHT BANK said...

I am so like you. I immediately start worrying when someone stops blogging.

LindsB said...

I hate when that happens, it makes me very sad to see some of my favorite blogs just slip into thin air. Glad you are here to stay for the long haul!

Magchunk said...

I'm not going anywhere! Although I was worried that maybe you'd kept my old blogspot address which I finally deleted. But I checked and it's all up-to-date.

I got to a point where I was reading over 50 blogs A DAY. That took some trimming. Now I'm at more like 25? But I have a short attention span and if someone is gone for a couple weeks I'll stop reading. Cause you really don't know if they're coming back or what. I mean, I GUESS I could keep clicking on links that have been inactive for months, but then I'd be up to 100 blogs a day.

Hanako66 said...

I had that same conversation with my husband...I would want everyone to know what happened! I am with you on this and you better not go anywhere!

drollgirl said...

you are so right about this. blogging takes a lot of time, and i know burnout is inevitable for most. but saying goodbye seems like the right thing to do! for sure.

Sam said...

I am totally with you! I go to a blog I've been following and find that there's nothing for weeks - so I start going over their last post - I get all Sherlock Holmes - was there a clue there? Then I go further back - trying to find the answer to their vanishing!! If only they knew!! My boyfriend and I have figured out why a few bloggers have suddenly disappeared by doing this!

I also worry about myself - I read Gabbi's comment about bloggy shelf life - I too have only been blogging for just over a year and I worry terribly I'll suddenly "get over" it! Does that happen? I couldn't imagine my life without blogging at the moment - I adore everything about it!! Anyway, yes I agree sweetie...

Simply Mel said...

Just the title of this post alone gave me a bit of a heart palpation - I thought you might be leaving! I always need my daily dose of D&OC!

Rachel Follett said...

Oh that is so sad to hear about bloggers leaving without saying goodbye. I told my husband the same thing if anything happened to me to write a post for everyone so they knew what happened. I hate wondering if people are okay. I promise I will let you know. :)

Crystal @ Plush Palate said...

Such a great angle you take! I love how you remind us that having a readership is a privilege. I treasure each and every one of my readers! Thanks for keeping blog etiquette alive...and please don't leave us...ever :)

nicole addison said...

you're amazing. and first let me say you better not be going anywhere! it will be a sad day when d&oc ends. ok, it wont happen. i just made that decision for you, ok? ;) but i agree, i was sorting through my blogs last night to find posts over 2 months old, or ladies that simply say..it's just too much for me to keep up with. and i love that you told your man that, ive thought about that before and have wondered what i'd do if i could no longer post, or if heaven forbid something happened to me. id want someone to tell you lovely ladies, because you've been nothing but an amazing part in my life. hmm ok..im about done with my novel. hopefully you get my point :)

Diana said...

i've been reading blogs for about 3 years, but i started blogging myself for about a year coming up in 2010, but i'm totally with you on this.

i know it's none of my business on why they delete their blog, but i'll admit, i was a little hurt, a little offended. they shared so much with me, then just stopped? it's like dumping your readers.

Jennifer Rose said...

since hubby can also write on my blog he does when I am at the hospital and if anything serious did happen he would let my readers know. i always start playing detective when people just suddenly stop posting, in some cases i get really worried. i wouldn't want my readers to feel the same. i've made a lot of good friends blogging so wouldn't want them to worry.

Laura@EdenRose said...

When i visit a blog that hasnt been updated in a long while i feel really worried and start thinking all sorts of things. It is only the right thing to do to say 'goodbye, i may be back, i may not be back, thank you for visiting, bla bla bla.' Thanks for the lovely post, it made me realize i am not the only one thinking these things xx

Rachel said...

Christina! I have missed your comments on my posts. Since you asked, and I'm not assuming you thought of me during this post, but I did move blogs. My original blog was "A Klassy Lady" and I am now at "Meet the J.Rays." I do hope you add me to your blogroll and come visit with me again!

Absolutely Not Martha said...

you are too sweet! as you know, i haven't been posting as frequently due to my recent move to LA. hopefully i'll be regular again very soon. :)

enjoy a beautiful weekend!

K @ Blog Goggles said...

I know, it's so sad when people disappear! Sometimes, I can't blame them, but I would say goodbye. I do wonder what happens though...

Quixsa said...

Christina,

Thank you so much for this sincere heart to heart. It helped me reevaluate my own blogging (of lack there of).

I agree with everything you said and encourage you to always speak your mind to your readers.
:0)

jen said...

That's so true! I have some bloggers that have disappeared on me too.
I better do a post now...I've been lacking lately. Don't want anyone to be worried!

Angie said...

Just so long as you aren't going anywhere. I was reading somewhere that there is a trend of blogs disappearing right after the Blogher conference. Weird.

ana b. said...

What a sweet post. Equal parts hilarious and very true and a bit heartbreaking. I know what you mean. Which is why I try to get my dearest bloggers actively using twitter so I can keep track that way!

My heart broke when Anna from Silver Wings suddenly made her blog invite only. It made me feel like I wasn't part of the cool crowd who got an invite. In fact, I still get a bit upset thinking of it. ALSO my other favourite - The Vintage Year and Strike.Match -- GONE! Into the ether. How upsetting.

Courtney said...

You are so sweet. I understand your pain. I am glad to hear you aren't going anywhere.

Personally, I had to leave the blog world do to some off-blog things but I'm back!

danacordovadesign said...

Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more! That is always weird when that happens...it does take some energy to keep this thang going. thanks for your consistency, I think your site is great.

Bromeliad said...

Awww. It's true - I worry about people who 'vanish' from the blogosphere. Or even readers who vanish. Don't know why i assume the worse. I guess there's just no way to know if a person has been in a hospital or just got busy.

Adrienne S. said...

Nicely put! I've also gone to blogs only to discover them abandoned and couldn't help but wonder what happened. This post (and your cool creations) has made me a follower. Thanks!

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